All over the place, really
My nephew Andrew Nathan was born today. He's a cutie. Dare I say a little better looking then his older sister ;) I'm glad my SIL was able to keep him in for a few more weeks so he could grow. And grow he did! For being three weeks early he's got a good weight on him: 7lbs 3 oz and 19.5 in long. That's absolutely perfect. I think I'm a sucker for the baby boys. I just love my own two little boys so much I tend to favor their gender a little more over other babes lol So now we definitely have to make a plan to go down and visit the new arrival :) Ah, to hold a brand new babe without experiencing the aches and pains of child birth lol speaking of pains, my SIL, bless her soul, types on Facebook how bad contractions hurt.... Honey, how about you start telling me how bad they hurt after being induced with pitocin and with no pain medication in sight, then you can tell me how much they hurt. Can't possibly be too bad if you can still play on your iPhone and update Facebook lol
Um, oh and I made butterbeer cupcakes today. They're yummy :) can't wait to show off at the bake off tomorrow. Maybe this time I'll win. I'm still 0 for 3 right now. :p

I ran my 4 miles today. It wasn't fun. But I did beat last week's 4 miler by 2 minutes. So at least I'm improving even though I'm not enjoying it. I think the only thing that keeps me excited is my long run. I'm going 8 miles this Saturday. I'm looking forward to testing out my new fueling routine. I bought a clif bar for before my run and some Gu for during, IF I need it. Then next week I might switch it up by hydrating with Gatorade during my runs IF I don't need the Gu. Geez a fuel belt would just be so much easier. Hm just not sure if it would be uncomfortable to run in or not. And I need to scrounge up some money to get one. If surf city sells out before December I won't be able to do the beach cities challenge :( lame. Oh well.

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Just real fast before I have breakfast I wanted to mention my run this morning. I got together with the ladies (and a few guys) again this morning. We set off for 6 miles. I've been dreading this 6 mile run since the night before. My stomach was empty so had annoying sloshing sounds for the first 3 miles :/ then we get to the turn around point and one of the ladies asks if I want to run to th end of the trail with her which is only 1/2 mile more. So I said sure. Yeah sure what's a measly 1/2. I had totally forgotten, yeah, you gotta turn around so that 1/2 is actually another mile *eep* but we made it and we ran it in decent pace, an average pace for myself. Almost 800 calories burned. Can someone say "cookies"? Lol nah, I am so craving a banana, toast, and egg omelette. So with no further ado, I shall leave you. Ciao!

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Miserable little me just whining like a baby
blue back poesy
So I am so set on wanting to run the Long Beach 1/2 marathon. But now that I've finally decided I come to the realization that I don't really have $100 lying around :( I could probably scrape some up but it would be taken away from either my babe's first birthday, thanksgiving, Christmas, or fixing our garage door, or money for hubby's uniforms. Ugh this sucks. I seriously am disappointed. I have no idea why I want to do this one so bad but it is just killing me inside to know I won't be able to run it. If only I was rich I could enter any race I wanted. *le sigh*

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Running recap; Most accomplished run so far :)
dream catcher
So on Monday I ran 3  miles. I so wasn't feeling it, the kids were grouchy but I toughed it out anyway. And suddenly out of no where I get this urge to run fast. Like race pace fast. So I did, and guess what? I got a new personal record of 30:33. I was psyched! Ever since I started running my goal has been a sub 31:00 for a 3 miler, and I finally did it! So ever since then, I've gone crazy and convinced myself to try and go for the LB 1/2 in October. That leaves me 5 weeks to train. Not a whole lot. My max distance I will have gone before I race my 1/2 will be 10 miles. So come race day I will be running 3.2 more miles than I've ever run before. Sounds crazy. But I'm going for it. I still haven't signed up though, since the hubby's not home yet to disvuss it with me. But he will be tonight, so we'll see what happens. Luckily these are one of those races that don't sell out too early. Oh and prices go up after this Friday, so if I want to save $10 I need to register before then.

Going all the way
gold dress
I went running this morning. Well, woke up late, like 6:40 today. I wasn't even plannign on running, cause my shoulder got tweaked out again so I didn't want to injure it more by running with it, you know, and pushing the 100lb stroller and all. But today was the third day this week where the weather has been soooo nice. Gloomy clouds nice cool breeze, no humidity, and no sun in sight. I just couldn't pass that up, especially when I've been running in scorching temperatures, humidity up the wazoo and a blazing sun with no breeze at all. So, I went for a run. I needed to do my last 3 mile run this week anyway, and then Sunday I could run my first 5 miler. So I start running. "Not bad, and wait, was that the 1/2 miler mark already?" "Hm... Okay." So I keep running. "You gotta be kidding me" the next 1/4 mile marker shows up. And this trend continues to repeat itself all the way till my half way point where I have to turn around. I just couldn't believe it. My run went so smooth, and the 1/4 mile markers seemed to just zoom past me, but it was me who was zooming past them. It was awesome. Good weather, good attitude, good effort, GREAT run! Given, my chubby cub did start crying a little after the half way mark and didn't stop crying until the last 1/4 mile or so, but it was still nice. So I ran my first 5 miler under 60 minutes. To be exact it was 59 minutes and 56 seconds. My pace was 11:59. It wasn't fantastic, but it wasn't awful either. It was actually just kind of perfect. Seeing how my typical running pace is around 11:30, and I was running at an easy pace for the majority of the time. I dont' think I was actually putting extra effort into it until the last 1/2 mile. So yeah, yay! And to congratulate the kiddos for putting up with my hour long run, we are going to spend the rest of the day as Pajama-Movie-Popcorn Day!!!!

*Oh and yeah I'm pretty sure I fucked up my shoulder some more, but the run was worth it.
**Now the hard decision whether to run my third 3 miler tomorrow or not. All comes down to an 11 mile week or a 14 mile week. And maybe a totally broken me.

A list of to-do's
claustrophobic buildings
My mind is totally overwhelmed with information overload so I'm going to lay out all the shit that's crowding my brain to hopefully relieve some stress.

So I'm still waiting for the school district to schedule a date for us to get our IEP done.
I need to talk with Lucid today to see if the extension to get our IEP has gone through yet. This may lead to having to call our insurance as well to double check with them.
I'm still waiting for IRC to call me back. Once they do I need to get a hold of an intake worker for preschoolers. He will then get a psychological eval done. After the eval they will write up an IPP. Hopefully respit hours and behavioral therapy will be on that plan.
I could ask Izzy's doctor if he can give us a referral to an ABA if I can't get one through IRC or the school district.
After the IEP, the school district may offer to put him in a specialized preschool program for special needs where they will do speech therapy and occupational therapy as part of his school program. If they are only going to do speech and occupational therapy then I'm going to nix it, since we are already recieving those services.
I need to keep trying to get a hold of the ABA Aid, and see what she can provide and if we can afford it through our insurance.
I still need to fax over the EFMP forms to the psychologist and get the school district after the IEP is done to sign it as well. Then I need to turn it in to the EFMP people so we can go to the next step to get with ECHO. And once we're finally set up with that, we can sign up for the parenting classes for parents of autistic children.
I need to make sure the IEP gets done in time so that our insurance is still covering Izzy's speech.
I need to take a tour of the Keegan Academy, Sycamore Academy, and Riversprings Charter School to see if any of those may be an option for Izzy.
I may want to ask the school district the age cut off/entry for kindergarten. If we can start him at 6 that would be fantastic.
I also need to get Izzy's birth certificate and Jacob's too.
I need to get my name changed with the SS office.
I need to update my license at the DMV.
I need to get an appt with my doctor to check on my possible iron deficiency/anemia, and see if running is okay.

One more thing
head down on beach
I feel as if Izzy is getting worse when it comes to his behavior in Gymnastics. It's stressing me out hard core. I know it's just the Autism, and I know the instructors are working so hard with him. But I can't help but feel like they're wasting time on us. Like we're setting them back and interrupting the whole process. And that basically is what's happening. I got two more numbers from John today. One for an ABA Aid and another for a resources program that has a 6-month wait list. Called the resource program and got a voicemail. It said I should hear back in 48 hrs. We'll see. And the ABA Aid had a voicemail that was full. So all I can do is try to call back later when she is in. I forgot to ask the receptionist at Lucid whether the request for an extension to our insurance had gone through yet or not. I guess I can call now, or just wait until Wednesday or tomorrow. I'm tired. I'll wait till tomorrow. I still haven't heard back from the school district concerning our IEP date.

Lots of waiting.


Lots of stress.


Feeling meaningless, hopeless, pathetic, a waste of life.

Really looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. I have a feeling it ain't coming soon.

My mind sounds like Daria at the moment...
black and white girl
So I'm starting a different plan this week. The other one is just not doing it for me. Um, so I missed my 5 miler yesterday cause of James, and I didnt run it today cause I wanted to sleep in. So, instead of continuing on to 5 miles tomorrow. I'm starting the week over. Yeah. So that makes Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday as easy 3 mile runs. Then a 5 miler on Saturday. But I think I will give myself an extra rest day since I prefer to run my long runs on Sundays, and I'm pretty sure I'll need the rest. So all I have to do is battle myself with the desire to sleep past 4:30, and the laziness and stress of having to wake up my boys and clothe them and get all of my mommy supplies together before we can get out of the door, into the van, into the stroller and running. Yeah. Easy. Right? Ugh.

It's not the running I hate that is killing my progression but everything that goes before it.
On another note, I have emptied our fridge and house of everything that is unhealthy. And by "emptied" I mean ingested. Go me....

Hoping me going back to a healthier diet will balance my body back out again. Lately my skin, hair, and complexion have just been all messed up.

Speaking of hair. I chopped mine off and made it brunette.
I am regretting this.
I miss my long blonde hair. Or perhaps I miss my hair when I was pregnant and full of extra pretty hormones that made me look stunning. I wish I could take a pregnancy pill without, you know, the pregnancy lol. I guess it's time to look into vitamins and supplements. Ugh.

One more thing I am trying to avoid like a mob of zombies: cleaning the house. I rather be chased by zombies. At least then I could get some running in.

Some people just don't know....
... How good they have it. A friend of mine (a guy) was complaining about these next few days are going to be hell because he'll be working 13 hour days. Ha! Add a few more hours to that plus 20 hr training for 10-30 days once a month and that's my hubby's job. Please sit back down and stop crying. 'Cause you don't see us sniveling in our trousers.

On another note. We went to my mom's this weekend and brought back a whole bunch of junk food. Not helping me in the "eating better" department. Missed out ong solo 5 mile run today to spend a little more time with the hubby before he left for a 10 day training. So now I gotta push the boys for 5 miles tomorrow. That's going to be tough. Hoping I don't die.

As well as errands tomorrow I have to call up stuff about izzys ASD stuff. And I NEED to get my SS and DL stuff done as well get the boys' certificates.

I'm waiting for the day when there is nothing on my to-do or worry list. Or at least for the day when I stop stressing about it.

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Volunteering. Hard to do when EBFing. Still possible?
I'm thinking about volunteering to hand out medals at the Long Beach Marathon in October. I figure, if I can't run the marathon at least I can be there in another form that's making a difference. Maybe it'll also give me a cool behind the scenes look in how these things are run, and I can be even more hyped and knowledgeable when I go to my first 1/2 in January :)


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